Weak?

Well to be honest this has been a very tough week and a half. I feel like I am going kind of crazy.. Drugs really mess you up pretty badly.. My mood swings are just crazy, I am indecisive about everything and I feel alone ( although I know I am not). My heart also feels like it was broken and taken into a few different directions. People I thought I knew I found out I didn't know at all and it hurt :( You know I just have a hard time not blaming myself for a few things right now.. I feel like I turned my back on a few different people at the same time as feeling like the turned their backs on me. I was also blamed for things that weren't true and was not aloud to have a voice when it came to defending myself. I also met a very lovely young man.. everything about him seemed perfect, I don't allow myself to get very close to guy's for plenty of good reasons and I slipped up. I was so naive to let somebody in again I told him things about my life that not many people know and got close but guess what I was wrong about that to. All these different things are going on at once .. and I have no idea why.. I have put so much effort into making others happy I forgot what made me happy, it has started to just drain the life from me. So I am letting all of this go now.. I don't want to.. but I have to.. I have no strength left right now I am just going to hide for awhile...